i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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