he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
