Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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