I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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