Swine flu. Run for my life!
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
