My nipple is on Facebook.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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