We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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