I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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