My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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