She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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