Rock
Scissors
Fuck
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
