but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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