Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
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