I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
