I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
