what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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