Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
