so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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