Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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