Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
