Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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