You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
