did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
