Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
