Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
