I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My penis needs a shock collar
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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