the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
