im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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