it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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