super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
