nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
