i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
