where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
