allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
