Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
