kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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