The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
