I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
