well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
