put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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