we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
