whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Did I show you my penis last night?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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