4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
