I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
