I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
