dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
