I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
