Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
