If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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