nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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