so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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